New Year

I can't look forward to my midnight kiss this New Year because Jeff is working out of state, something he started doing the week Isaac was Life Flighted to Primary Children's.  Instead I am spending New Year's Eve in quiet contemplation.  Does that sound smart? Good, because really it is just boring.

We went in for followup labs last Thursday, and yesterday we went back to Primary Children's for exams, xrays, and more labs.  Isaac was in really good spirits, but he was utterly exhausted after several hours and all we had to do there.  I was hoping to squeeze in a few Christmas returns, but Isaac kept saying, "I just want to go home and lay down." 

Isaac is making good progress, but he is still very sick.  Most of his labs have normalized, but some levels are still elevated.  His xrays look significantly better, but still show pneumonia in his left lung.  He is throwing up and having diarrhea and has no energy at all.  He tries to climb up the stairs of our home, but sits down on the fourth one and calls for me to carry him the rest of the way to the top.  His skin is grayish, his eyes are sunken, he looks severely malnourished. He can't sit up straight.

 And through it all, he is a very happy kid.  He is always smiling.  He never complains.  When people ask how he is doing or how he is feeling, he responds, "I am getting stronger."  He is teaching me how it is done.

 

 In between doctor visits, administering medication, and cleaning up throw up, we are working our way through mountains of boxes.  It seems we have WAY too much stuff.

 Isaac, whom we have nicknamed "Bones" is finding time to play with all of the toys he got while he was in the hospital (who needed Christmas?)

 Daisy says it is not fair that Isaac and Titus don't have to help unpack.  One thing we have learned through all of this is that life is certainly not fair.  But who's idea was that anyway?  "Fair" was never on the negotiation table to begin with.  Life is wonderful and amazing and hard and beautiful and difficult and unbelievable, but it is not fair.  I'm ok with that.

Even if he is not unpacking boxes, Titus certainly thinks he is helping, and he never lets any of us get bored for a single second.

Isaac and I watched the sun set tonight and it occurred to me that the sun was setting on 2013.  Tomorrow a new year will dawn.  I had a moment on Sunday to think about what I want my 2014 to look like.  There will only be 365 days.  There will only be 24 hours in each of those days.  I want to ensure that I spend those precious, limited, hours doing things that really matter.  In composing my Daily To Do List, this is what I wrote down:
1. Talk with God
2. Study my scriptures
3. Exercise
4. Play with my kids
5. Serve Jeff
The challenge, of course, is going to be keeping those things at the top of my to do list, ensuring that they remain the essentials when the laundry is piling up and the PTA is calling and the bills need to be paid and I need to check my email and my visiting teaching still isn't done.  But it is only 5 little things.  Five things that must be done every single day no matter what.  The perspective I gained as I sat at Isaac's bedside in the ICU day after long day helped me understand that there are very few things that really matter in this life.  I am committed to spending my limited, precious time doing things that matter. 

Happy (healthy) New Year.