Birthdays and Flowers

 It was a big week at the Dansie house because our Daisy turned the big 1-0!  As I reflect over the past 10 years with this amazing girl, I think I have grown as much as she has.  I was scared to death to become a mother.  While I am still learning as I go and making a lot of mistakes along the way, it is a much more rewarding experience than I anticipated. 

 The celebration began with a Birthday Breakfast of biscuits and gravy and scrambled eggs (there is a reason we call her Southern Comfort) and opening a few gifts before she was off to school.

 After school, Grandma came over with birthday wishes and presents.  Daisy was thrilled with her new Go Walk Sketchers and put them right on.

 That night we packed up the circus and took the party to dad out at the hospital.  We had Sherbet floats (thanks to Marge)

 ...and opened more presents.

 Each birthday the kids get to choose between a family activity or a birthday party.  They almost always choose a family activity.  This year Daisy chose dinner and a movie and brought along her adorable friend Katie.  We were hoping to hit the Mayan but what do you know...it closed years ago.  So Texas Roadhouse had to do.

 Jeff and I realized that the steakhouse is probably not the best place to take the circus.  As the boys were fighting over their silverware, which included an 8 inch steak knife, in front of the waitress and Titus refused to stay in his high chair and threw food all over the floor, we remembered why we NEVER do this.

 Daisy was a good sport and climbed on the Happy Birthday saddle.  She is much more comfortable on top of her horse.

 The family joined us for The Lego Movie afterward, which was slightly disappointing.  Or maybe it was just wrestling with Titus that tainted the experience for me.  Several family members took an expensive nap, but the kids liked it.

 We made a stop at PetSmart to get new dirt for Levi's tortoise and, lucky us! It was Pet Adoption Day.  Katie and Daisy made immediate plans to adopt a pet together.

The birthday celebration concluded tonight with family dinner and Aunt Kandi's most requested chocolate lava cake.

 The other big event this week was, of course, Valentine's Day.  Levi came home from school the day before Valentine's and asked, "Mom, can we go to the store and buy flowers for my teacher for Valentine's?"
"I don't know buddy, " I replied, "I already got her some yummy lotion and flowers are kind of expensive."
"Mom, I will use my own money.  Girls really like flowers for Valentine's and she is the best teacher ever" Levi argued.
So off to the flower shop we went, Levi toting his wallet.  He looked at every bouquet they had and finally found the perfect choice.  He said it had the right bow, the right vase, and the right flower because it had two colors.  The shop owner was waiting for us at the counter, and as we headed up to the counter to pay we passed the earring display.
"Mom, can we pleeeease get her some earrings too?  That would make her day!"
"Sorry bud, but that would cost too much money.  We will just have to get flowers today."
"Aw, man.  I wish we could get earrings too" he lamented.
The arrangement he chose was $10 so I gave him a $5 dollar bill and told him that he would need to use his $5 plus his change to cover tax.  He put all of his money on the counter.  When I saw that he didn't have enough, I told him that he would need a little more change.
"But I don't have any more," he whispered.
"You have just enough," the shop owner interrupted. "This is just right."  I mouthed "thank you" as she said, "and just for shopping with us today, you get a free gift."  She walked out from behind the counter and brought back a pair of white pearl earrings.  You should have seen the look on Levi's face.  She set him up with a little card and envelope to put in the flower pick and sent us on our way.  Levi was walking on clouds.
"Mom," he kept saying, "my teacher is going to love this so much!  This is the most beautiful rose ever!  I bet she will want to wear these earrings every day because they will match everything.  This will probably be her best Valentine's day ever."  I was just smiling inside, and thinking again how much I love living in this town. (thanks Brenda!)
He came right home and got to work on his card.  He wrote "Will you be my Valentine?" in his best handwriting, sealed the envelope, and was all set.  I smiled, shook my head, and wondered what we've got to look forward to with this ladies man.

 Later that night Grandpa and Grandma came by with an early Valentine for everyone.  Grandma tried to knock and run, but got caught.  Levi told her she was too slow, but she was still pretty fast for a grandma.

The next day a big Valentine's package arrived in the mail from Grandpa and Grandma Jones.  We were so excited we ripped it open right in the car.  There were books and candy and even Shrinky Dinks for everyone!

Jeff and I had big plans to go on a romantic date that night, but no babysitter could be found, so the boys joined us for dinner while the older kids went bowling with friends.  Who needs a romantic date anyway?  I prefer to take my toddler out to eat on Valentine's day when other couples are trying to enjoy a childless meal so I can put my patience and perfect parenting skills...or lack thereof...on public display.  Awesome.

 Speaking of this terrible toddler, he has found a new love for his rocking horse.  He can't climb on it by himself yet, though, so he stands by it and yells until I come help him onto it.  Then he rocks and rocks till his little heart is content, for 27 seconds, at which point he climbs off and then stands next to it and yells until I come put him back on.

 And in the moments when daddy is home we all make sure to let him know how much we love him.  The people in this picture comprise my whole world, and my whole heart. 

Today our whole family went to all of church for the first time since the first week of December.  It was such a good feeling. It was Isaac's first time in Primary as a non-Sunbeam, and he did great.  Titus, however, is not quite acclimatized for the full skip-a-nap three-hour-block.  He was simply exhausted by the time we got home.  So was I.

It's A Good Day

 The kids and I brought a couple of loads from the apartment and dropped them in the pantry.  I should be attacking it right now since you can't even walk through the door, but instead I am writing this post.  Today was a very good day. (Sidenote: "It's A Good Day" is track #3 on Hilary Weeks' latest album Say Love.  The song is a family favorite.)

 Today we made the familiar trek to Primary Children's for Isaac's follow up appointment.  He finished his medication last week, and they needed to evaluate how he was doing without it.  They also wanted to do a follow up CT to see what the blood clot in his lung was doing.  He was all business-as-usual.

 He climbed right up on the CT table and stuck his right arm out for the IV.  The tech laughed and told him that she remembered him from last time because he was so brave.  I am so thankful that he does so well with all of the procedures, but it does sadden my heart a little to recognize that it is all so familiar to him.

 He was a rockstar for the CT, so we went down to the cafeteria to eat while we waited for the radiology team to read the exam and consult with Infectious Disease.  Isaac kept asking if he could pleeeeease choose a dessert first, but his request was denied.  I did let him get a soda, though.  We are both fans of the cafeteria at Primary Children's.  It is about the furthest thing from hospital food that I've ever eaten.  Everything is yummy and it is all affordable.

 While we waited for our appointment with infectious disease, Isaac played PacMan.  I was smiling the whole time I was watching him play, not just because of his very articulate and very loud sound effects, but because he has never felt well enough to play the games when we have been there before.  I remember holding him on my lap and watching the other kids play in the waiting room.  I remember thinking how they didn't seem sick at all.  Today the one playing was my kid.  Today he didn't seem sick at all.

 I was thrilled when I saw the CT.  The blood clot has done exactly what the doctors hoped it would.  The image on the left was taken during Isaac's last hospitalization, exactly a month ago.  The image on the right was taken today.  The blood clot has not broken loose and posed a threat.  It has shrunk significantly and almost completely dissolved, leaving scarring in its shadow.  When they told me my son had a blood clot in his lung and then sent me home, I was terrified.  When they warned me of the potential dangers should he contract any respiratory infection, I felt panicked and helpless.  For the past month, I have tried not to let the thoughts of what might be happening inside his little body haunt me.  I have tried to trust the doctors and be positive.  Seeing the images today brought indescribable relief.

 Isaac has loved Dr. Ampofo.  He thinks they are buddies.  Dr. Ampofo gives Isaac knuckles and calls him Mr. D.  He asks Isaac about things that matter to him, like Titus, and he talks to Isaac on his level.  He is truly gifted at what he does.  A person with his level of brilliance (bordering on genius) combined with his extraordinary interpersonal skills is rare. A person that can do all that he does and do it in a way that makes a sick child feel safe, comfortable, and happy is nothing short of an angel.

I have loved Dr. Ampofo.  He has been following Isaac since the day he arrived at Primary Children's on LifeFlight.  He saw us every single day, EVERY SINGLE DAY, the whole time we were in the hospital.  (I kept asking him if he ever took a day off.)  He met us in the emergency room when we had to return for Isaac's second hospitalization.  He has seen us at every single follow up appointment we have been to.  He has called several times to check on Isaac and make sure he is ok.  He has called our pediatrician to consult and followup and streamline Isaac's care. I am baffled by this level of consistency.  It is simply unheard of in healthcare today.  He treated us like we were family, remembering specific details and always calling us by name.  I was amazed as I observed his interactions with the other health care professionals in the hospital, from the nurses to the technicians to the other physicians and specialists.  He treats everyone with a familiar respect.  To have Isaac receive such premium care from this caliber of doctor was a blessing beyond measure.  It is people like Dr. Ampofo that not only make Primary Children's the amazing place it is, but also make difficult situations manageable, and who inspire me to want to be a better person.

 Isaac was completely healthy at his follow up appointment today.  The doctors said that even if he were to contract a respiratory illness at this point, he would be ok.  What remains of the old blood clot will continue to dissolve on its own, and Isaac's lungs will be clear and healthy within six months or so.  You should have seen the look on his face when he realized what the doctor was saying.  "I'm all better?" he asked.  He was sing-chanting on the way out to the parking garage, "I'm bet-ter, I'm bet-ter. Boo-ya.  Oh-yeah.  I'm bet-ter."

 We came home to this surprise "valentine" on our front porch.  It was yet another reminder of how those around us, that love us and care for us, have carried us through this entire experience.  I have to hope that I can't help but become a better person after having been the recipient of so much selflessness and love.  That is the hope, after all, that our trials shape us into the people we were meant to be.  I feel thankful that so many people around me have become real life role models of who I hope to become.

The Rains Came Down and the Floods Came Up

 We got to go to the BYU basketball game yesterday. 

 It was a GREAT game.  Complete with BYU creamery ice cream, CougarTails, a CLOSE game, and lots of Rise and Shout.

 But it rained the whole time we were gone (which we fasted for last week) and Isaac's window filled with water, flooding his bedroom and Daisy's.

 It was 11:30 when we got home.  We pulled Isaac's bed apart to start cleaning up the flood.  We rearranged everything in Daisy's room to do the same.  They had a sleepover in the family room.

 We sucked as much water as possible up with the ShopVac, pulled back the carpet and sucked up some more.  We finally cut the pad out and took it out to the garage to dry (we hope) and then brought in fans to start the process of drying everything out.

Jeff got the backhoe and dug out the front yard to divert the water and hopefully avoid this ever happening again.

When I knelt down before climbing into bed after 1:00 last night, my back was killing me from pulling on the ShopVac, lifting the sopping wet carpet, and moving all the furniture.  My hands and feet were wrinkly from being wet.  I was too tired to cry, so I said, "Heavenly Father, I'm not sure what to say.  I'm thankful that it wasn't worse (because I know it could have been.)"  And then I prayed for strength to finish the clean up and sleep.

When I woke up this morning I groaned as I heard all the fans still blowing and remembered the huge mess that we have to deal with.  Jeff was on call so he headed in to the hospital while the rest of us got ready for church.  And what I got there was exactly what I needed.  It was just a reminder that I can do this. 

I'll be watching for the rainbow.

That My Children May Know

 Part of settling into our new normal has meant resuming my early morning routine.  I get up, exercise, pray - as in really pray, and study my scriptures before getting ready for the day and getting the kids up for school.  This morning routine is invaluable to me.  It not only helps me spiritually and physically, it makes me a much nicer mommy and a much happier person.  My whole life (literally) is better when I utilize this time for myself each morning. 

 I was reading with the kids the other night before I tucked them into bed and was struck when I listened to Daisy read this verse, "And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins" (2 Nephi 25:26).  I recognized that Nephi did not indicate that the purpose of his work was to raise perfect children.  He did not say that he taught them about Christ and went to great efforts to write about Christ so that his posterity would never sin.  Rather, he knew his children would make mistakes.  He knew that his posterity would mess up.  The essential thing was that they knew "to what source they may look."  I talked about this with my kids.  I explained that I felt very much the same way.  We don't have scripture study so they will be perfect.  We don't hold family home evening so they will never make mistakes.  We don't go to church because we never sin.  Quite the opposite.  I tried to explain to them that the whole reason we do all of these things is so that when they mess up, they will have the knowledge and the strength to dismiss Satan's lies that they are no longer loved or worthy of Christ's Atonement.  I reminded them that no matter what choices they make I will always, always love them, and that even more than that, Jesus Christ will always love them.  If there is one thing I hope to teach my children, it would be to utilize the Atonement in their lives.  For some reason, Satan is so successful in convincing us that once we have messed up, we are not worthy of Christ's love and forgiveness.  As I listened to Daisy read Nephi's words, I was reminded of the real purpose behind why I do what I do.  I needed that reminder.

 My morning routine does not typically involve a temple trip (but wouldn't that be cool!) but today it did.  Thanks to a gentle nudge from my amazing friend, Kate, I skipped my morning run in favor of a temple session today.  I was so grateful I did.  I was reminded while I was there how many prayers were said in behalf of our family during Isaac's illness.  With that reminder came the memory of what it felt like to be on the receiving end of all of those faithful and selfless prayers.  It's a memory that brings me to tears and one I hope to never forget.

 I went to lunch the other day with one of the most beautiful people I know.  Meagan is a very good friend and our kids are all about the same age.  When we were talking about our toddlers she said, "I just love this age.  I love watching them explore and learn and watching their personalities emerge."  I stared at her.  You love this age?  Are we talking about the same age?  Do you feel like donating your child to another family halfway through Sacrament meeting?  She sensed my doubts (or maybe it was the curled-lip look I was giving her) and explained, "I know it is hard, but I love this phase."  So I'm trying harder to love this phase.  I let Titus help me make rolls the other day.  We had a great time.

 What kind of mother lets her toddler remain in this precarious situation while she takes a picture?  I do.  Like every day.  Isaac does his best to convince Titus that they are "best brothers" but I think Titus views Isaac more like "torture deliverer."  Sidenote: Isaac said the prayer on the food: "Please bless this disgusting dinner." Love him.

 Daisy and I snuck away (ok, I know it is supposed to be "sneaked" and not "snuck" but I say "snuck" so that's what I type) last Saturday for a "Girls Day" at the State Drill Team competition.  Has it really been 14 years since I competed there?  Yikes! 

 We were there watching this amazing girl, who did fantastic.

 And it is always a treat to have time with my Daisy.  She works as hard as I do to keep the brothers in line and enjoys a day away just as much as I do.  I don't know what I would do without her.

 With as much as Jeff is gone, we try to include him in the little things as much as we can.  Levi did his 20 minutes of reading the other night when we took Jeff dinner on his lunch break. 

 Levi entered the Creative Arts Competition at his school in the Performing Arts division.  He decided he wanted to sing a song.  When I asked him what he wanted to sing, he chose "Families Can Be Together Forever."  I'll admit it was not the first performance number that came to mind, but I told him to go for it.  We practiced and the night before the competition he said, "Mom, you know a cool thing about me singing this song? When people hear me sing this, if they don't go to church, they might want to start going."  Melt my heart, right there. 

 It was an extra good day for Levi because he earned two medals in one day (and medals are more precious than pretty much anything.)  He took first place in the Creative Arts Competition, and then competed in the Juab Little League Wrestling tournament.

When I went to his Parent/Teacher Conference, his teacher pointed this out to me.  It was on display outside his classroom.  I had to take a picture.  He had told me the story a few nights earlier when I was tucking him into bed.  "Mom, you know how Martin Luther King had a dream?  Well it was a really important dream and it helped lots of people.  My dream is to be a missionary."

During a treasured conversation with my friend Susan, she articulated how I feel in these moments.  I don't feel like, "Whew, I must have done something right!"  Rather, I feel humbled by the amount of trust God has placed in me to send me some of His most amazing children. I recognize that He sent them to teach me. I feel motivated to be the kind of mother these choice spirits need.  I feel hope for their future amid the moral decay this world exists in.  I feel to talk of Christ, and rejoice in Christ that my children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.  And to Whom I may look for a remission of mine.