That My Children May Know

 Part of settling into our new normal has meant resuming my early morning routine.  I get up, exercise, pray - as in really pray, and study my scriptures before getting ready for the day and getting the kids up for school.  This morning routine is invaluable to me.  It not only helps me spiritually and physically, it makes me a much nicer mommy and a much happier person.  My whole life (literally) is better when I utilize this time for myself each morning. 

 I was reading with the kids the other night before I tucked them into bed and was struck when I listened to Daisy read this verse, "And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins" (2 Nephi 25:26).  I recognized that Nephi did not indicate that the purpose of his work was to raise perfect children.  He did not say that he taught them about Christ and went to great efforts to write about Christ so that his posterity would never sin.  Rather, he knew his children would make mistakes.  He knew that his posterity would mess up.  The essential thing was that they knew "to what source they may look."  I talked about this with my kids.  I explained that I felt very much the same way.  We don't have scripture study so they will be perfect.  We don't hold family home evening so they will never make mistakes.  We don't go to church because we never sin.  Quite the opposite.  I tried to explain to them that the whole reason we do all of these things is so that when they mess up, they will have the knowledge and the strength to dismiss Satan's lies that they are no longer loved or worthy of Christ's Atonement.  I reminded them that no matter what choices they make I will always, always love them, and that even more than that, Jesus Christ will always love them.  If there is one thing I hope to teach my children, it would be to utilize the Atonement in their lives.  For some reason, Satan is so successful in convincing us that once we have messed up, we are not worthy of Christ's love and forgiveness.  As I listened to Daisy read Nephi's words, I was reminded of the real purpose behind why I do what I do.  I needed that reminder.

 My morning routine does not typically involve a temple trip (but wouldn't that be cool!) but today it did.  Thanks to a gentle nudge from my amazing friend, Kate, I skipped my morning run in favor of a temple session today.  I was so grateful I did.  I was reminded while I was there how many prayers were said in behalf of our family during Isaac's illness.  With that reminder came the memory of what it felt like to be on the receiving end of all of those faithful and selfless prayers.  It's a memory that brings me to tears and one I hope to never forget.

 I went to lunch the other day with one of the most beautiful people I know.  Meagan is a very good friend and our kids are all about the same age.  When we were talking about our toddlers she said, "I just love this age.  I love watching them explore and learn and watching their personalities emerge."  I stared at her.  You love this age?  Are we talking about the same age?  Do you feel like donating your child to another family halfway through Sacrament meeting?  She sensed my doubts (or maybe it was the curled-lip look I was giving her) and explained, "I know it is hard, but I love this phase."  So I'm trying harder to love this phase.  I let Titus help me make rolls the other day.  We had a great time.

 What kind of mother lets her toddler remain in this precarious situation while she takes a picture?  I do.  Like every day.  Isaac does his best to convince Titus that they are "best brothers" but I think Titus views Isaac more like "torture deliverer."  Sidenote: Isaac said the prayer on the food: "Please bless this disgusting dinner." Love him.

 Daisy and I snuck away (ok, I know it is supposed to be "sneaked" and not "snuck" but I say "snuck" so that's what I type) last Saturday for a "Girls Day" at the State Drill Team competition.  Has it really been 14 years since I competed there?  Yikes! 

 We were there watching this amazing girl, who did fantastic.

 And it is always a treat to have time with my Daisy.  She works as hard as I do to keep the brothers in line and enjoys a day away just as much as I do.  I don't know what I would do without her.

 With as much as Jeff is gone, we try to include him in the little things as much as we can.  Levi did his 20 minutes of reading the other night when we took Jeff dinner on his lunch break. 

 Levi entered the Creative Arts Competition at his school in the Performing Arts division.  He decided he wanted to sing a song.  When I asked him what he wanted to sing, he chose "Families Can Be Together Forever."  I'll admit it was not the first performance number that came to mind, but I told him to go for it.  We practiced and the night before the competition he said, "Mom, you know a cool thing about me singing this song? When people hear me sing this, if they don't go to church, they might want to start going."  Melt my heart, right there. 

 It was an extra good day for Levi because he earned two medals in one day (and medals are more precious than pretty much anything.)  He took first place in the Creative Arts Competition, and then competed in the Juab Little League Wrestling tournament.

When I went to his Parent/Teacher Conference, his teacher pointed this out to me.  It was on display outside his classroom.  I had to take a picture.  He had told me the story a few nights earlier when I was tucking him into bed.  "Mom, you know how Martin Luther King had a dream?  Well it was a really important dream and it helped lots of people.  My dream is to be a missionary."

During a treasured conversation with my friend Susan, she articulated how I feel in these moments.  I don't feel like, "Whew, I must have done something right!"  Rather, I feel humbled by the amount of trust God has placed in me to send me some of His most amazing children. I recognize that He sent them to teach me. I feel motivated to be the kind of mother these choice spirits need.  I feel hope for their future amid the moral decay this world exists in.  I feel to talk of Christ, and rejoice in Christ that my children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.  And to Whom I may look for a remission of mine.